Point of View—the “close 3rd” or -intimate narrator

Frank Montagnino demonstrates the “close 3rd” for us with his entry below:

 

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Melissa couldn’t stop thinking about it.  It was the last thing she thought about at night  and the first thought she had in the morning.  It even invaded her dreams taking on different forms –  most more horrible than the thing itself.

She had thought about it all the way to work despite stopping at the cleaners, the pharmacy   and even while smiling at Nate, the doorman at her building.

In fact, the only time she hadn’t thought of it was the instant she stepped off the elevator  when she realized that Nate was the third person she had met that morning.

Distinguised literary author, Marlene Lee, tries her hand at Show not Tell

 

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

“Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!” said Joni, laughing loudly enough to be heard by the woman and man sitting on a sofa at the far end of the room. “Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!”  The child smiled broadly so that, when she stopped laughing, they would still notice how happy she was.

Twenty or more children stood in rows on a raised platform at the east end of a long room.  When the front row had undergone adequate scrutiny, as indicated by nods from the woman and man on the sofa, three teachers stepped up onto the stage and directed the children in the front row to return to the back while the second row stepped forward. Wave upon wave, the rows of children rhythmically replaced themselves.

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Emerging author Frank Montagnino delights us with his version of Show and Tell

“If Momma ain’t happy….”

(A really short story by Frank Montagnino)

It was a bleak day; a gray day, the kind of day that if you didn’t have to go to work you’d just pull up the covers and stay in bed.   But you wouldn’t enjoy that either, Joni thought.

She looked out the grimy window of her dreary room at the barren harvested field beyond the motel’s parking lot.  “Empty,” she  muttered to herself.  As empty as her life since Roger had pulled up stakes and left her all alone on the outskirts of this Godforsaken,  down-at-the-heels farm town.

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Urban Fantasy Author, Liz Schulte gives an example of “Show not Tell”

Urban Fantasy Author, Liz Schulte is our first entry in our “Show not Tell” Challenge.  What was the challenge?  Show this:  “Joanie/Joni is really sad.”

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The curtains were pulled tight and the wood blinds closed. There was still too much light. Joanie’s feet shuffled across the bedroom floor pushing cold, wet tissues out of the way. With a sniffle, she wiped beneath her nose and knocked away another errant tear with the back of her hand—there seemed to be no end to them. No matter what she did, she couldn’t piece herself back together.

She sank into bed, pulling the plush, warm cover over her head. Finally it was dark enough to remember or forget, but she hadn’t made up her mind which one she’d do yet. Both choices were equally devastating. A shaky breath escaped her tight chest as a new round of tears spilled down her cheeks. 

 She wasn’t just bent, she was broken.